I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke

My main nemesis at work is the Coca-Cola machine...well, actually my main nemesis is the "Dirty Trash Can Full of Poop" but she has been laying low lately, so I'm concentrating my animosity on the vending machine.

We have both a Coke and Pepsi machine on the 11th floor. The 10th floor also has a Coke and Pepsi machine, as well as a cafeteria that has all sorts of beverages to purchase, including Coke and Pepsi products. The problem with the cafeteria is that their bottles of soda cost $1.61, as opposed to the $1.50 the vending machine requires. And they don't have Cherry Zero. Just regular Zero.

So my love-hate relationship with the machine started almost immediately, when it kept spitting back one of the quarters I had given it and I had to run back to my desk for a different quarter and back to the machine before somebody else got there. This would happen intermittently, once I was lulled into a false sense of security and no longer bringing my entire wallet to the machine.

Then when I was pregnant with Zoe, somebody kept parking the huge confidential shred bin right in front of the machine. (I only had one soda a day, I swear.) In your mind you may think this was not the vending machine's fault, but I know better. It gave just enough room for the non-pregnant me to squeeze through, but as I steadily increased my waistline, the opening got smaller. I finally sent out a mass e-mail to all the males of my department, demanding they move the shred bin or risk my pregnant wrath. That worked.

There are two other ways my nemesis tries to thwart me.

1. Refuses any dollar bills, no matter how crisp.

But this is easily solved as I can put the dollar bills in the Pepsi machine and then press the coin return for quarters. HA! Take that!

2. Runs out of Diet Coke and Zero faster than anything else and does not seem to have a regular service date.

So, recently, I was complaining about this in a staff meeting, and the Business Continuity employee who had just joined our department stated that he had the servicer's contact information. (Because that is definitely in the Business Continuity job description.) The machine was filled that day, and they traded out one of the non-used flavors for another Diet Coke section. Wahoo! Secret weapon!

This brings us to today. Now, I knew that the Zero had been out for a few weeks, and one of the Diet's had run out, so I should have seen this coming and been a little more proactive, but still...I get over there with my $1.50 and all three Diet's are now sold out. I get my quarters back from the machine, figuring I'll just head down to 10. That machine refuses to take any quarters. So I have to walk back up the stairs for my additional $0.11 to then walk back down the stairs to the cafeteria and then back up the stairs to my desk. UGH!

Today's victory goes to the Coke machine.