Friday, March 26, 2010

Just a Half a Cup, If You Don't Mind

Words Morgan Knows That Shocked the Hell Out of Me

Paleontologist -
"Steve is the Paleontologist on Dinosaur train. That means he knows all about dinosaurs. I like the dinosaurs that don't eat meat. The meat eating ones are mean."
"Eating meat, doesn't make them mean. You're a meat eater."
"I am?"
Mommy does not elaborate for fear of a hunger strike.

Composition -
After making a stack of stuffed animals that she doesn't want Zoe to knock down: "Let's have a game where we see who can look at the composition the longest without talking."
(This sounds suspiciously like one of Mommy's games.) Really? Composition? Maybe that school is worth it.

The Student Becomes the Teacher

"When we learned K, Miss Marilyn had a picture of an Orca, but I told her Orca doesn't start with K, and she said it was a Killer Whale, but I know it's an Orca and Killer Whale is the mean name for it."

Don't mess with my marine biologist, Lady.

Zoe Update

We went in to wake up Morgan and she points at Beluga and says "Boo Ga". It is possible that Morgan is brain washing her.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Journey to Kindergarten - Chapter 1

Point 1

Today I got to go to Cleveland City Hall. Because apparently you need to have a "certified" birth certificate (redundant?) to register your child for kindergarten, and apparently hospitals don't send those to you automatically when your kids are born, and apparently you have to pay for them.

City Hall is one of Cleveland's historic buildings in the classic Greek/Roman style with columns and marble and sandstone, etc. So the metal detector and plywood security "desk" fit right along with the architectural aesthetic. (Don't get me wrong. I'm pro-metal detectors. I certainly don't want to be gunned down while waiting to write my check to the "Vital Statistics" department.)

Worse than the metal detectors are the 246 pieces of paper taped to walls, ropes, windows, chairs and ceilings. All imploring the citizens to fill out an application at one table and then stand between the ropes until the next employee is available. The paper is in various colors to make it interesting, or perhaps to help those with color blindness. One can only guess the number of people that still walk up to the window without a completed application.

Other signage reminds us that they very conveniently take debit and charge cards, but neither of these can be Visa.

Box of Crayons - $2
Backpack - $15
First Day of School Outfit - $25
Having Valid Paperwork for Kindergarten Registration - Priceless

And for those of you that didn't know, there are only two "vital statistics". Your birth and your death. And you will most likely never stand in line for your own "certified" certificate of either of these things.

Point 2

Upon returning, I got to talking with a co-worker about all the paperwork involved in this process and we started reminiscing about our own school transportation history.

K - I have absolutely no idea how I got to school!
1-2 - Walker. Set off with other members of St. Paul Lutheran Church (Reinharts, Stiwalds, and Bolkens). In order to not have to wait in the "walker" line, that wasn't released until all the buses were gone, Lara and I would sneak out the breezeway as the class made their way to the front of the school. Sometimes having to crouch below windows until we could bolt across the playground in the hopes that we wouldn't be spotted.
3-6 - Have moved to "the country" and our bus driver was Mrs Bursley. As her name implies, she was the meanest old biddy you could possibly imagine. If we weren't at the very end of our quarter mile driveway, she flew past us. Even if you knew she saw you running as fast as you could across gravel wearing a back pack, flailing your arms and screaming for her to stop.
7-8 - I have absolutely no idea how I got to school!
9 - Older brother in the POS "Goose" to school. In the afternoon, because my brother was a jock and always had practice for something, I took the bus. For all of high school I had Mrs. Bonnette. Who if I didn't make special care to say hello to as I boarded, she forgot I was there, and I would end up running down the aisle, "Mrs. Boonnneetttee!" In contrast to Mrs. Bursley, Mrs Bonnette would slam on the brakes and back the bus up the state route to my driveway. She was awesome and had the best laugh.
10 - I had the choice of dad dropping me off super early on his way to work or ride the bus. I chose early, and hung out with Justin Solomon (science teacher's son) until the rest of the school got there and I could pretend I didn't know him. (Just kidding, he was okay.)
11-12 - Gerri got her Mustang convertible that actually had a running mustang airbrushed across the front hood. Classic! Gerri turned 16 in April, but waited until the summer to take Driver's Ed with me, cause she's awesome (Or maybe her parents just didn't let her until then, I don't know.) We were in the same car with Nina Nunez and she was a way worse driver than me, but the instructor only made me cry. I'm pretty sure Gerri's the only one that got her own car out of the deal, but I was allowed the pleasure of driving the used beige Tempo to school my senior year.

I think riding the bus will be hard on Morgan at first. She notices instantly if, say, I go a different way to school, because I'm so zoned out I miss the turn on Bradley. And she's been known to argue with the driver of a vehicle that does not take the path she is expecting. "You're going the wrong way!" I can picture her very plainly, yelling at the bus driver.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Kindergarten Information Night

Morgan will soon bless the public school system with her presence. To that end, we received a flyer stating that all parents should attend this Kindergarten Information Night, which should have been called Pick Up Your Information Packet Night, because really it was a 10 minute speech by the principal and then we were left to our own devices.

And said packet has more forms than it takes to incorporate your home business or adopt a third-world child.

There were little tables set up where you could ask specific questions. I had two, one of which I'm sure I could have looked up if I wasn't so lazy.

Question 1: If we live in zone A, this means she will be a PM student. If we live in between streets X&Y, she will be a "walker". But our daycare provider lives in zone C, which would make her an AM student and need to ride the bus. When Bus Delta and Walkers Charlie and Easy start out from Gamma Quadrant, what the hell do I do?

Answer: Fill out the form and they'll get back to you.

Question 2: What is the difference between a Daisy Scout and a Brownie?

Answer: Daisy Scouts are K and 1st grade. Brownie's are 2nd and 4th.

Learn something new every day. In my day, there were only Brownies and I went to one Brownie meeting. After finding out I would be forced to recite the pledge aloud, by myself, I decided the brown beanie and sash weren't as cute as previously suggested.

The rest of the time we got to spend walking around the Kindergarten rooms. Which, shockingly, pretty much look identical. And it's not like I could actually pick which room she would be in anyway.

Scott was busy checking off which parents were already ass-kissing the teachers to make sure Morgan doesn't make friends with their kids.

My best Kindergarten memories.

1. Anytime we got to watch a Letter People episode.

Come and meet the Letter People.
Come and meet the family.
Words are made with Letter People.
A, B, C, D...Follow me.

My favorites were Mr. Tall Teeth and Mr. Super Socks. I was annoyed that Miss Achoo sneezed all the time, so wasn't as cute. Really? Achoo? That's not even a word!

2. Show and Tell when I got to bring in my grandma's litter of puppies. Jake, Thelma Lou, and Mabel.

3. My mom and grandma came and did a puppet show for the class. At least I think they did. Maybe I'm making that up. I can't really remember what the puppet show was about. Or what the puppets look like. Weird.