Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Dog, the Leprechaun, and the Wardrobe

Our girls pretty much had the opposite reactions than I would have expected to our dog passing this winter.  Morgan and Potter had always just occupied the same space, where Zoe was all about giving him treats and laying on top of him like a throw rug.

So I was a little shocked at how inconsolable Morgan was when we told her. And she was prone to bouts of melancholy for at least a couple weeks afterward.  Even today, she told me she misses seeing him in the back hallway when she goes to get her coat.  Zoe, on the other hand, simply asked if we were going to get a new dog that day and name it Potter.

Now Morgan is ready for another Saint Bernard, which I'm somewhat opposed to.  I know plenty of people that are loyal to a certain breed, but I have a hard time "replacing" my pets.  I could also never have another Collie, which is the dog I grew up with. Scott, however, I think will be easily persuaded to get a Saint Bernard as long as it is a short haired variety.  I'm thinking of giving the girls the option of two greyhounds vs. one St. Bernard in the hopes that having their "own" will lean them in the other direction.

Just this weekend, I had the following conversation with Morgan after leaving a house that recently got two new dogs.

"I think we should get another Saint Bernard.  Or maybe a Bulldog.  I like those.  And if it was a French Bulldog it could wear a beret.  Or if it was an artist Saint Bernard it could wear a beret, too."

"Do you know a lot of artist Saint Bernards?"

"No.  But Potter was pretty messy and that is kind of like being an artist.  And then we could get him a little coat that has paint splatters on it, like painters wear."

Why do I have the feeling that I am going to end up with another Saint Bernard?

* * *

Morgan recently spent an afternoon at the Nature Center learning about the Wonders of Water, during which they must have talked about rainbows, which coincidentally lines up nicely with the skit she has been writing with a group from school around throwing a birthday party for Roy G. Biv.

"Do you think the first person to discover a rainbow was surprised to see indigo?  I wonder who discovered the first rainbow.  I bet it was a leprechaun."

Of course it was.

* * *

Me:  We need to go to Target for some cleaning supplies and I need a Valentine's Day card for Daddy.
Morgan:  I am GREAT at picking Valentine's Day cards for Dad.  I think we should get one with a dog in a swim, a dog in a bikini...a dog in a pink and red bikini.  Because adults have a good sense of humor.   You just need to get it out of them.

* * *

One of our major Storage Wars projects is coming to a close.  This would be a corner hutch that has been installed in our living room.  When Zoe asked Scott what it was, he told her it was something like a wardrobe and then convinced her when he was done, he would make it magical and it could take her to Narnia.

So for the past few days, Zoe has been asking Scott when he's going to put the magic in it and he told her she needed to wait for the face plate he was going to install over what used to be a hole for a light switch.  He then went to Thing Remembered and got the plate engraved with the words "To Narnia".  It looks pretty cool.

Guess who is not happy?  A little girl who put herself inside a wardrobe and stepped right back out into the living room.  I do have her sold on the fact that the wardrobe only works if Aslan needs her to come to Narnia, but that she can pretend it takes her there instead.

She tries the wardrobe every day.  I think I'm going to lock her in there for a while and then redecorate the living room to look like the lamppost in the woods.

Sidebar:  When you spill some of the rustoleum paint you are using to clean up the radiator cover on your finger tips, you should not try to quickly get it off by scrubbing your hands with soap and water in the sink.  This only spreads oil-based paint over BOTH of your entire hands.  Also, be sure that you actually have paint thinner or turpentine on hand when using oil-based paint and not assume that you are not going to spill paint on your hands.  Also, nail polish remover would have worked if you had more than an amount to soak one cotton ball.  Also, your hands may look a little "red" after you pour a substance called "Oops" directly on them.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Parent of the Year

Group text I sent last night:

Pictures embedded in the text:

So first it me or is that wildly inappropriate for elementary school?  Are high school kids buying these Valentines and handing them out?  Is my dirty mind reading too much into this?  Is "hot" what the kids are calling "cool" these days?  Leftover from Paris Hilton?

Next Text Conversation I had:


In my defense, considering I thought I was talking to D, it was not at all strange that she didn't know who Jacob was.

I guess someone else in Toledo is now aware that I'm a less than stellar parent.

And this is the kind of sympathy I get from my friends:

Only D would have hoped for a Package reference to further humiliate myself in front of a complete stranger.  It's like the Taco Bell drive thru all over again.