Monday, November 11, 2013

Momnesia Strikes Back

Things I Forgot Today:

Brush my teeth. (Chewing an entire pack of Trident White with Micro Crystals is just as effective, right?)
Write Morgan a note to stay after school for Brownies. (I did finally remember to call the office at 10:30 this morning to tell them despite the fact that I told Morgan I would call them when I put her on the bus this morning.)
Tell my sitter Morgan won’t be coming home on bus because of Brownies. (Which I only remembered after starting this list of things I forgot.  Yes, I started the list this morning, so that I wouldn’t forget all the things I had forgotten.  It makes sense.)
Pick my employee badge up off the kitchen counter before leaving for work. (I just had to go back and edit that sentence because I had felt the need to capitalize Employee Badge.  Why?)

None of the above is probably as bad as forgetting to go my brother’s Halloween party.  But, damnit, that’s why Evite was invented! Stop texting me shit!

To be fair, even when I “remember” I have to do things, I usually put them off for more exciting things like FAS91 standard costing walk throughs (so I keep getting paid) or cleaning out my DVR (so I can make sure that future episodes of Sleepy Hollow are able to be recorded even though its one of the few shows I typically watch live) or looking up how much a picture of a dead president is worth on eBay (so I can stop getting paid for ass numbing FAS91 walk throughs).

To illustrate, I have a list of personal “to do” items tracked in a notebook I use to manage my work projects.  (Yes, I hand write things in a notebook despite the many technological advances that society has made.  If I don’t write it down, it means you never asked me to do it.)  The majority of these personal items may or may not have been placed on this list at the beginning of the summer…2012.  (Kidding, it was this summer, but now it doesn’t seem so bad, right?)

Order contacts.  (Quite frankly it was a miracle that I actually finally got my eyes examined in order to obtain the most recent prescription.  I currently still occasionally wear the free pair that was given to me to try out.  In May.)

Swim lessons.  [Timeline of events:  Five Seasons closed prompting my need to find a new swim instructor (April).  Swim Team started, delaying my need for a new swim instructor (June).  Swim Team ended without finding a new swim instructor (August).]

Indian Princesses.  (First two events of the season conflicted with plans we already had.  Can I still sign Zoe up?  Is there anything even left to do?  Worst mom of the year.  I asked her to pick between Daisies and Indian Princesses and then I pull this crap.  Only thing I have going for me is that she has completely forgotten about it, too.)

Tour de Bay wrap up.  (Hey, this just ended on Labor Day.  I’m actually not that far behind.  Rest assured I will have everything settled before Memorial Day 2014. Or I will have Emmie do it.)

Instagram photos.  (This was originally for me to upload all my Instragram photos into an app that will allow me to print them at Walgreens, but really can apply to any and all photos still housed on my phone.  It goes without saying that I will lose my phone before this actually happens.  So it’s a good thing that I post to Facebook.  Constantly.  You’re welcome.)

In related picture news…Order photos.  (Girls had a great session with a new photographer.  In August.  Turned out cute and I did make small prints at Walgreens right away.  But then I kept changing my mind on which ones I wanted to choose larger prints to have framed.  Next time I’m going to tell the photographer to only send me the best three pictures so I don’t have to make decisions.)

Morgan vision test.  (Guess what?  I scheduled this today!  And I’ve only had the note from the school vision screenings for less than a week! Check, check, check.  Okay, that only get’s one “check.”  I was just trying to make myself feel better.)

A note to fellow Kindergarten and 3rd grade moms.  Or at least the ones that are more organized than me.  If you could just at all times assume I don’t know what the fuck is going on, and send me reminders, that would be awesome.