Wednesday, May 16, 2012

America's Got Talent...Or Do They?

This is my first season catching the show, and it’s only because Scott has a man crush on Howard Stern. Question. What is the f-ing point? I honestly don’t know what the criteria are.

It looks like there are two buckets. Your mainstream talent (singing, dancing, comedian} and your circus freak side shows. So how does that work in a judging situation from a comparability point of view? I think I am missing something.

It’s interesting how this very same week a classmate posted a YouTube video on facebook from the high school talent show my junior year. That would be 1991. (Yes, my 20-year reunion is here this summer and don’t think that doesn’t scare the be-jesus out of me.)

For your consideration…a lip-synced dance routine to the ever popular YMCA. One word…brilliant. Just a brief disclaimer…I am in no way trying to belittle this video which was posted in memory of a classmate that passed from cancer a couple years later. Let me be clear…I love this video, and every person in it. This is me, setting aside my ever-present sarcasm for just a brief moment.

You can now return to my regularly scheduled attitude.

Do high schools still have Talent Shows like these? Where there was actually rarely true talent involved. Instead the popular kids got up and made asses out of themselves, but somehow became cooler in the process.

I don’t think in all my high school career a Talent Show went by where someone didn’t imitate a Saturday Night Live skit or lip sync while cross dressing. Last I checked, making an ass of yourself is not a talent. If it were in fact a talent, I’d be a millionaire by now.

So I want to know what kids do these days. Do they get up there with their emo-hipster grunge bands? Do they belt out a Broadway show tune a la Glee? Are there underground step crews lurking in the bowels of this village? Or will we see another generation of whatever-is-as-popular-as-Wayne’s-World-was-to-us imitations and the quarterback of the football team lip syncing Lady Gaga?

Please, God!  Let it be the latter.


  1. My 20 was last year (event last November) and have you seen Grosse Pointe Blank? You know the line Joan Cusack says "It was as if everyone had swelled", well I couldn't really appreciate what that meant until I went to mine. It was, um, interesting.

    We've watched AGT since the first season (look up Cas Haley's cover of Lionel Ritchie's Easy, you will not be sorry) and I pay little attention to the judging part. We don't call in or anything like that either, its just a fun way to find some new singers I like. Yeah, I'm biased. BMX riding & dance troupes don't really do it for me. Which reminds me, its sitting on my DVR right now...

  2. O.M.G. I can't believe your classmates got away with that! Some of those dance moves were downright pornographic! Guess things are different at the high school level compared to junior high. I can't help wondering what those boys' rehearsals were like. I'll bet there was beer involved.

    To answer your question: Our junior high has a talent show the day before winter break. This year, it was lots of Adele (girls singing and playing piano), more Adele (girls performing a dance routine), and a little Adele thrown in for good measure. We also have had "comedians," various instrumental performances including sax and tuba, and even a cup-stacking demonstration. One year, three boys reenacted the Beyonce "Single Ladies" video, which brought down the house. The teacher act last year was a performance of "Dance Revolution" that defies description. Mark your calendars for next year, folks.

  3. Jenn - i forgot about that line, but judging by facebook profile pictures...
    I always liked American Idol, but I stopped watching it (not enough time). I think AGT is interesting to turn on when you get the chance, but I don't think I'll set my DVR.

    Katie - They got in a LOT of trouble, because when the teachers previewed the acts, they did a different routine. If you listen at the very end there is a teacher that yells "JASON!" into locker room. That is my government teacher, right before they got reamed, I'm sure. Also, I'm glad to hear about the "Single Ladies". It has restored my faith.