Monday, April 2, 2012

Serenity Now

I’m a little concerned at the apparent absence of short-term memory in my children. Did I drop them on their heads too many times? Should I not have let them eat paint chips?

Is it normal for them to not remember something I told them exactly 3.7 seconds ago?

Typical weekend:

Where are we going? When are we going there? What time are we leaving? Where else are we going? How long till we leave for Nana’s? Which Nana? Do I have to wear a coat? Where are we going before Nana’s? Is Daddy coming with us? Where are we going after Nana’s? Will Whitney be at Nana’s? Why is there air? How many places do we have to go to today? Why are we going to the store? Why are we going to Nana’s? Which Nana? Where are we going and what time will we get there? Can I take my baby?

Rewind to five minutes prior to the first question:

“In twenty minutes we are going to all the leave the house together. First we have to stop at the store to pick up dog food. Then we will go to the gas station. Then, and only then, we will drive to Nana “Sid and Leo”’s to color Easter eggs. Uncle John, Barbi and Whitney will be there, too.”

I have never known two individuals more concerned with time, yet have no idea how to read a clock, nor understand the concept of how 11 AM differs from 3 PM. It’s best to stick with “before lunch” and “after lunch”.

Also...there is a shocking lack of curiosity for where the “Papa”s fit in this picture.

Maybe, you are saying to yourself, I gave them too much information to process.

Yesterday morning:

“My iPod is out of batteries. We have to listen to the radio”

“Can you put on Lemonade Mouth?”

“No, that’s on my iPod.”

“Can you play the “kiss me on my shoulder” song?”

“No, that’s on my iPod.”

“Do you have the ANT Farm songs?”


A few minutes of bliss while the radio station plays songs at random.

“Can you play the Muppets now?”

“The next person that asks me to play something that is on my iPod will lose their hearing for all eternity.” (I didn’t say this. I am not THAT mean.)

Thankfully a song comes on the radio that they know and can sing along with. Unfortunately, this song actually ends.



“Can you play that song again?

Fuck. Me.

1 comment:

  1. The age of technology has infiltrated! My friend has a toddler who has been known to walk up to the television and try to "flip" to the next page just like daddy does with his iPad. It isn't your fault for wondering the obvious wtf question, blame that Steve Jobs guy ;-)