Going through the Kindergarten Registration packet is a little less daunting the second time around, but no less annoying.
First and foremost, the amount of repetitive information is staggering. You know, there is this change management rule that says you have to repeat something seven times before it really sinks in...I don't think that should apply to this packet situation. Just the one page with important dates would have sufficed. Don't keep throwing out random dates on other pieces of paper that I have to reconcile to the Important Dates page. (Because, yes, I'm an auditor, and I reconciled them.)
Also, you may think it is 2013, but filling out this paperwork is like stepping back into 1980 before they invented computers, dot matrix printers, and the Internets. I had to write our address EIGHT times. THREE times on the SAME paper. I had to write MY name TWELVE times (not counting signatures). This better be part of the modernization program our taxes are going towards this year. Seriously, it's easier to pay taxes than to sign your kid up for kindergarten.
Also, the rest of the world has gone paperless, we don't get "utility bills" anymore for proof of residency. Okay, I do. But I'm sure there are people that are more green than I am.
Mixed messages. On one pages it lists all the things you MUST bring with you in order to register, but then two more pages in it gives you the same list, in a different order and using different terminology and then tells you to just have it all in by August 9th.
Note to first timers: This August 9th thing is helpful for the health and immunization records. In case you are like me and have kids with late spring/early summer birthdays and your insurance won't cover more than one well-visit in the same 12-month period, it doesn't make sense to have the doctor fill out all the paperwork now, just to have them update it again in two months when you actually go in for a check up.
In contrast to the overload of repetitive information, there are little tid bits that lack any clarity. For instance...Birth Certificate. Okay, is that a copy? A certified copy? Do I have to go stand in line at Vital Statistics for an official duplicate? Hint: None of the above. You have to bring your original and they make a copy of it while you are there.
Now here is where I admit the number of times I started to write my name instead of Zoe's...three. And the number of times I mistakenly marked her as "male"...one (in my defense, the lines were confusing). There's no prevention for user error.
Number of times I felt guilty...when they asked when my child reached certain developmental milestones and I had no fracking clue because she is my second child and therefore there is no record of ANYTHING. You have my best guess, people. All I know is that she took twice as long to talk and half as long to ride scooter as my oldest. But my oldest spoke early and still has no large motor skill coordination. So if you average it out, it's average.
Sidebar: I'm mildly offended that they always ask for the father's information first when you know damn well it is the mothers that are filling it out and we are the first ones (with exceptions) that are going to get a phone call if something goes wrong.
Okay, so it took less than a lunch hour to get it done, so who cares? (Well, me obviously, because I could have been reading Entertainment Weekly's recap of Once Upon a Time or sending more links of puppies to my husband.)
But just in case you have everything ready and get through this week and think you are in the clear...rest assured you will get another packet of information at the Kindergarten Open House (not an Open House) in which you will need to write down your address and phone numbers at least three to five more times.
And, oh shit, I completely forgot about Safety Town. (Which may explain why my kids and I rode our bikes to the playground yesterday without helmets.) I seriously need a carpool situation for that one. Calling all SAHMs that want another kid for two weeks.
FYI - to any BV moms going through this for the first time...the alternative transportation sheet is stapled to the back of the transportation packet...get it in early so you know you get your correct bus information this summer.
Now all I have left to do is convince the school I need to be in AM Kindergarten when I clearly live in the PM zone. Oh, and convince Zoe that she does, in fact, want to attend. No problem.
Showing posts with label kindergarten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kindergarten. Show all posts
Monday, March 11, 2013
Monday, November 8, 2010
The Trial
Parent-Teacher Conference Day
I've been dreading this day since I got my reminder notice a few weeks ago. Because if something is going wrong, it's not Morgan's fault. She's five. So it kind of fall's on me. And therefore this parent-teacher conference is really just a critique of my parenting skills.
Part of this is brought on by my pre-school parent-teacher conference last year, in which the very pleasant teacher asked me if Morgan had any stress at home, because she sometimes would get very nervous if she was asked to do multiple or difficult tasks.
"Well, now that you mention it...if she makes a mistake in her flashcards I make her walk a medieval gauntlet I erected in the basement."
So, by the time this morning hit, I had a small knot in the pit of my stomach. Stressed? Why would she be stressed? No one in my family stresses?
(Not to mention I've been riding out a slight hormonal imbalance this month that had already caused me to (1) burst into tears in front of my boss and (2) fight to keep it together as we drove past a cemetery and Morgan asked me where we were going to bury Potter when he died.)
I brilliantly scheduled this conference for 7:30 AM.
I may have mentioned that I have trouble getting out of the house in the morning. No? Not six or seven or twenty times? Well, I have what you may call a bit of a "sleep deprivation" problem which causes me to procrastinate throwing back the covers. Most days I'm leaving the house at about 7:45 to get the girls to Thea's, so I somehow had to gain a half hour.
We didn't do too bad. The parents before us were still there chatting when we got there, so I call that a win. Okay, we cut it close. But we also didn't take the full 15 minutes, so no harm done.
Morgan's polite and kind.
This was a surprise, because at home she's all, "Shut up, bitch, make me a bowl of spaghetti-o's!"
She hates doing her letter formation. And this is a girl that loves books. But she really struggles with writing, and therefore is pretty stubborn about doing it. Hmmm, you mean she doesn't like doing things she's not good at, because she can feel people judging her? So much so, that she doesn't even want to practice to get better? Hmm...who does that remind me of? It's somebody, I'm very close to...hmmmm.
Anyway, that was the worst of it. And it was something I already knew.
My only question was whether or not she had friends. I mean, I got the impression that she did, but since Mrs. D's class has all the kids that are on IEPs, I kind of wondered how that was affecting her social skills (not saying that all kids on IEPs have social problems - just a general pondering from a parent that doesn't have to deal with that daily).
Well, she must get that question a lot, because she pulled out a notebook where she spent the last several days recording who played with who, where, and for how long.
So on Wednesday last week Morgan started in the play kitchen areas with Lilly, Elizabeth and Jay and then went over to the computers with Molly and Daniel, etc.
I was pretty impressed. Not with Morgan, with Mrs. D. That must have been a giant pain in the ass, but I guess how else could she remember?
Anyway, it's over for another year. I can now lapse back into apathy.
Author's Note: Did you catch the three paraphrased movie quotes in this post?
"Over-reacting? Why would I over-react? Nobody in my family over-reacts?" Annie Banks, Father of the Bride
"I have what you may call a bit of a "weight" problem." John Candy's character, Stripes
"Shut up, bitch, make me a turkey-pot-pie." John Bender, Breakfast Club
I've been dreading this day since I got my reminder notice a few weeks ago. Because if something is going wrong, it's not Morgan's fault. She's five. So it kind of fall's on me. And therefore this parent-teacher conference is really just a critique of my parenting skills.
Part of this is brought on by my pre-school parent-teacher conference last year, in which the very pleasant teacher asked me if Morgan had any stress at home, because she sometimes would get very nervous if she was asked to do multiple or difficult tasks.
"Well, now that you mention it...if she makes a mistake in her flashcards I make her walk a medieval gauntlet I erected in the basement."
So, by the time this morning hit, I had a small knot in the pit of my stomach. Stressed? Why would she be stressed? No one in my family stresses?
(Not to mention I've been riding out a slight hormonal imbalance this month that had already caused me to (1) burst into tears in front of my boss and (2) fight to keep it together as we drove past a cemetery and Morgan asked me where we were going to bury Potter when he died.)
I brilliantly scheduled this conference for 7:30 AM.
I may have mentioned that I have trouble getting out of the house in the morning. No? Not six or seven or twenty times? Well, I have what you may call a bit of a "sleep deprivation" problem which causes me to procrastinate throwing back the covers. Most days I'm leaving the house at about 7:45 to get the girls to Thea's, so I somehow had to gain a half hour.
We didn't do too bad. The parents before us were still there chatting when we got there, so I call that a win. Okay, we cut it close. But we also didn't take the full 15 minutes, so no harm done.
Morgan's polite and kind.
This was a surprise, because at home she's all, "Shut up, bitch, make me a bowl of spaghetti-o's!"
She hates doing her letter formation. And this is a girl that loves books. But she really struggles with writing, and therefore is pretty stubborn about doing it. Hmmm, you mean she doesn't like doing things she's not good at, because she can feel people judging her? So much so, that she doesn't even want to practice to get better? Hmm...who does that remind me of? It's somebody, I'm very close to...hmmmm.
Anyway, that was the worst of it. And it was something I already knew.
My only question was whether or not she had friends. I mean, I got the impression that she did, but since Mrs. D's class has all the kids that are on IEPs, I kind of wondered how that was affecting her social skills (not saying that all kids on IEPs have social problems - just a general pondering from a parent that doesn't have to deal with that daily).
Well, she must get that question a lot, because she pulled out a notebook where she spent the last several days recording who played with who, where, and for how long.
So on Wednesday last week Morgan started in the play kitchen areas with Lilly, Elizabeth and Jay and then went over to the computers with Molly and Daniel, etc.
I was pretty impressed. Not with Morgan, with Mrs. D. That must have been a giant pain in the ass, but I guess how else could she remember?
Anyway, it's over for another year. I can now lapse back into apathy.
Author's Note: Did you catch the three paraphrased movie quotes in this post?
"Over-reacting? Why would I over-react? Nobody in my family over-reacts?" Annie Banks, Father of the Bride
"I have what you may call a bit of a "weight" problem." John Candy's character, Stripes
"Shut up, bitch, make me a turkey-pot-pie." John Bender, Breakfast Club
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
In My World the Books Would be Nothing But Pictures - Road To Kindergarten - Mommy Rampage
Scott will be rolling his eyes that I'm fired up enough to blog about this. But if I don't write it down I will stay bitter for far longer. This is my release.
Announcement 1
"Dear Parents,
Normandy School Open House will be on Tuesday, August 24, for you to meet your child's teacher before school begins...This is a time for parents and the teacher. Please do not bring any children to the Open House. You may bring your child's supplies so they will not have to carry them on the first day of school...."
Announcement 2
"Dear Parents,
...You can help your child transition to school by attending the Kindergarten Orientation on August 26. A parent or guardian must attend with the child and provide transportation..."
IN MY WORLD...."open house" means "please drop in while my house is open from this time to that time". It does not mean "show up at the start time and listen to me deliver a presentation based on my one page agenda".
IN MY WORLD..."orientation" would be the correct descriptive noun used to indicate there will be a lot of important information for you to understand in order for your child to succeed in this classroom.
Disclaimer - I do not fault the teacher, who is very sweet and didn't seem to care that we walked in 30 minutes after the start time. It's the school that called it an Open House.
So...is there some secret code in Bay Village that I am not aware of? Because how is it possible that I was the only one that didn't understand that Open House meant "you will be here from 5:30 - 6:15 or you will look like an ass in front of the parents of your child's future classmates?"
I am not off to a good start, so I will be making up for it be volunteering for all sorts of nightmarish duties.
Announcement 1
"Dear Parents,
Normandy School Open House will be on Tuesday, August 24, for you to meet your child's teacher before school begins...This is a time for parents and the teacher. Please do not bring any children to the Open House. You may bring your child's supplies so they will not have to carry them on the first day of school...."
Announcement 2
"Dear Parents,
...You can help your child transition to school by attending the Kindergarten Orientation on August 26. A parent or guardian must attend with the child and provide transportation..."
IN MY WORLD...."open house" means "please drop in while my house is open from this time to that time". It does not mean "show up at the start time and listen to me deliver a presentation based on my one page agenda".
IN MY WORLD..."orientation" would be the correct descriptive noun used to indicate there will be a lot of important information for you to understand in order for your child to succeed in this classroom.
Disclaimer - I do not fault the teacher, who is very sweet and didn't seem to care that we walked in 30 minutes after the start time. It's the school that called it an Open House.
So...is there some secret code in Bay Village that I am not aware of? Because how is it possible that I was the only one that didn't understand that Open House meant "you will be here from 5:30 - 6:15 or you will look like an ass in front of the parents of your child's future classmates?"
I am not off to a good start, so I will be making up for it be volunteering for all sorts of nightmarish duties.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Road to Kindergarten, Vol. 12
(Synopsis for those just joining: we live in PM kindergarten zone, sitter lives in AM, transportation department wouldn't agree to pick her up so I've spent the summer awaiting the return of the principal to plead my case.)
Morgan is officially an AM student. I got the call this morning, and he was very kind. Of course he reiterated several times how he was bending the rules for me and only doing it because he could tell how important it was to me.
Well, I would say needing transportation is little more important than someone asking to switch so Suzy and Sally could be in the same classroom. But that's just me.
Not to mention, I was perfectly willing to take the PM slot as long as they ran the bus out there, so let's not go over the top with the martyrdom.
On the other hand, it is impossible not to like this man. He looks quite a bit like dear old Mr. Magoo when he loses his glasses, but doesn't seem to have the same eyesight trouble.
When we went to sign our form, he came out from his office and introduced himself to Morgan. Then he asked her if he could show her some things in the school. Ended up taking us out to the aquarium, then around to the courtyard to look at the gold fish pool, and through the gymnasium.
Morgan giggled the whole time, and I can only imagine it was because she was picturing him trying to go up the down escalator because he got on the wrong one. Or maybe that was just me. Does anyone else remember Mr. Magoo? Where did he go?
Anyway...next week is the Kindergarten Screening and Morgan does not do well under pressure, so we'll see how that goes. I only wish they asked for an oral presentation on the different whale species or how to survive a shark attack. At the very least she could do a recitation of the Jabberwocky poem.
I mean, really...who has to know how to match upper and lower case letters these days?
And this week Zoe has become terrified of the bath tub. I'm talking blood curdling screams the entire time it takes to wash her hair and body, while she make desperate attempts at escape. The culprit? That dang drain. After almost 2 and a half years, she's decided she could possibly go down it with the water. Oh, this is fun!
Morgan is officially an AM student. I got the call this morning, and he was very kind. Of course he reiterated several times how he was bending the rules for me and only doing it because he could tell how important it was to me.
Well, I would say needing transportation is little more important than someone asking to switch so Suzy and Sally could be in the same classroom. But that's just me.
Not to mention, I was perfectly willing to take the PM slot as long as they ran the bus out there, so let's not go over the top with the martyrdom.
On the other hand, it is impossible not to like this man. He looks quite a bit like dear old Mr. Magoo when he loses his glasses, but doesn't seem to have the same eyesight trouble.
When we went to sign our form, he came out from his office and introduced himself to Morgan. Then he asked her if he could show her some things in the school. Ended up taking us out to the aquarium, then around to the courtyard to look at the gold fish pool, and through the gymnasium.
Morgan giggled the whole time, and I can only imagine it was because she was picturing him trying to go up the down escalator because he got on the wrong one. Or maybe that was just me. Does anyone else remember Mr. Magoo? Where did he go?
Anyway...next week is the Kindergarten Screening and Morgan does not do well under pressure, so we'll see how that goes. I only wish they asked for an oral presentation on the different whale species or how to survive a shark attack. At the very least she could do a recitation of the Jabberwocky poem.
I mean, really...who has to know how to match upper and lower case letters these days?
And this week Zoe has become terrified of the bath tub. I'm talking blood curdling screams the entire time it takes to wash her hair and body, while she make desperate attempts at escape. The culprit? That dang drain. After almost 2 and a half years, she's decided she could possibly go down it with the water. Oh, this is fun!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Bat
Kindergarten Readiness Update:
There is no update. I have now e-mailed and left a voicemail. The school opens for business next week anyway, so I can just conduct a stake out if I have to. I am now researching other transportation options.
1. Hire a town car with dark windows and driver to whisk her to and from, but charge the bill to the city. As Denise pointed out, my taxes should definitely cover that.
2. Teach her how to skateboard so she can grab hold of the bus bumper as it speeds past Thea's house in the morning, refusing to stop to let her on.
3. Drop her off on their doorstep when I leave for work in the morning, supply her with finger paint, and tell her to be creative.
4. Teleportation or Worm Hole. Both, highly viable solutions if we lived in Eureka.
Lessons Learned Over the Weekend:
The weekend consisting of Tina's birthday dinner on Friday night, driving to Columbus for Kelly's birthday party Saturday night, a Triathlon Sunday morning, the final day of the Tour De France and an episode of True Blood.
1. There can only be one Uncle John.
Mommy: Uncle John's waving at you. Do you want to go see him?
Zoe (adamantly): Not Uncle John. Uncle John not here.
The fact of the situation is my Uncle John (my father's brother) was in the room. But Zoe's Uncle John (my brother) was not. I stand corrected.
2. If you ever want to get attention, borrow a kid with curly hair. I can't go 2 feet next to Zoe without someone stopping me.
3. It is possible to sneeze non-stop from Cleveland to Columbus. Just ask Scott. I offered some of the girls' clean socks that I happened to have in the car when we ran out of tissue, but he declined. I would not have been that proud. Not with that amount of snot. The related lesson learned: Generic truck stop sinus medicine works better than Claritin, which did absolutely nothing.
4. I kick ass at Beer Pong. Okay, maybe not kick ass, since we didn't win, but I have shockingly improved since the last time I played.
5. There are still a lot of people that do not know how to estimate the kilometer to mile conversion.
"More mature" ladies to each other: "Well, now he has to run. I wonder how long that is?"
Me, butting in: "It's a 5k for this one."
Lady: "But how much is that in miles?"
Me, resisting urge of sarcasm: "A little over 3 miles."
Lady: "So how long will that take?"
Really? It's a race! It will take some people a short amount of time, and some people a long amount of time. Get with the program.
6. I don't know the name of who won the Tour De France, but I did see Lance Armstrong finish. Because it's all about the US, isn't it? (Okay, I personally should know the name of who won, since Scott watched all 20 days, and I'm sure that I heard it said, but I honestly don't remember, so maybe it's just all about me.)
7. Sookie is too dumb to try her electric blue fairy power on Lorena. Humans can bite through vampire's skin, but they can't make it look real with special effects. Russell didn't believe Bill's allegiance, but he believes Erik's despite the weirdo smile Erik plasters on his face every time they are together. There is only one werewolf in all of Mississippi that is not white trash.
There is no update. I have now e-mailed and left a voicemail. The school opens for business next week anyway, so I can just conduct a stake out if I have to. I am now researching other transportation options.
1. Hire a town car with dark windows and driver to whisk her to and from, but charge the bill to the city. As Denise pointed out, my taxes should definitely cover that.
2. Teach her how to skateboard so she can grab hold of the bus bumper as it speeds past Thea's house in the morning, refusing to stop to let her on.
3. Drop her off on their doorstep when I leave for work in the morning, supply her with finger paint, and tell her to be creative.
4. Teleportation or Worm Hole. Both, highly viable solutions if we lived in Eureka.
Lessons Learned Over the Weekend:
The weekend consisting of Tina's birthday dinner on Friday night, driving to Columbus for Kelly's birthday party Saturday night, a Triathlon Sunday morning, the final day of the Tour De France and an episode of True Blood.
1. There can only be one Uncle John.
Mommy: Uncle John's waving at you. Do you want to go see him?
Zoe (adamantly): Not Uncle John. Uncle John not here.
The fact of the situation is my Uncle John (my father's brother) was in the room. But Zoe's Uncle John (my brother) was not. I stand corrected.
2. If you ever want to get attention, borrow a kid with curly hair. I can't go 2 feet next to Zoe without someone stopping me.
3. It is possible to sneeze non-stop from Cleveland to Columbus. Just ask Scott. I offered some of the girls' clean socks that I happened to have in the car when we ran out of tissue, but he declined. I would not have been that proud. Not with that amount of snot. The related lesson learned: Generic truck stop sinus medicine works better than Claritin, which did absolutely nothing.
4. I kick ass at Beer Pong. Okay, maybe not kick ass, since we didn't win, but I have shockingly improved since the last time I played.
5. There are still a lot of people that do not know how to estimate the kilometer to mile conversion.
"More mature" ladies to each other: "Well, now he has to run. I wonder how long that is?"
Me, butting in: "It's a 5k for this one."
Lady: "But how much is that in miles?"
Me, resisting urge of sarcasm: "A little over 3 miles."
Lady: "So how long will that take?"
Really? It's a race! It will take some people a short amount of time, and some people a long amount of time. Get with the program.
6. I don't know the name of who won the Tour De France, but I did see Lance Armstrong finish. Because it's all about the US, isn't it? (Okay, I personally should know the name of who won, since Scott watched all 20 days, and I'm sure that I heard it said, but I honestly don't remember, so maybe it's just all about me.)
7. Sookie is too dumb to try her electric blue fairy power on Lorena. Humans can bite through vampire's skin, but they can't make it look real with special effects. Russell didn't believe Bill's allegiance, but he believes Erik's despite the weirdo smile Erik plasters on his face every time they are together. There is only one werewolf in all of Mississippi that is not white trash.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Road to Kindergarten Vol. 3
Some of you may recall the great Kindergarten transportation conundrum we have found ourselves in for the fall. This was a question I specifically asked at Information Night, because our home address makes Morgan a PM student, but our sitter's address is located with the AM students. You may also recall that the answer to my questions was to "Just turn in your form and we'll take care of it."
I turned in my form.
Yesterday, I got a call from the Transportation Department.
"Mrs. Norcross, we seem to have a problem with your form. See, Morgan is a PM student, but your daycare provider is in the AM zone. I won't be able to pick her up."
Excuse me?
"My buses don't go over there at mid-day. We'll be able to take her there after school, because the buses run everywhere in the afternoon, but not midday."
Again, excuse me? This is their way of taking care of it? Not providing transportation to my child? And P.S. Bay Village is 5 miles long by 1 mile wide at the widest point, how much of an inconvenience could it possibly be to run the bus over there?
"Well, when I asked this specific question at information night, I was told that all I needed to do was fill out the form and there would either be an arrangement to pick her up, or she would be placed with the AM students."
"I can't do that. She's been assigned to PM by the principal. You would have to ask him to re-assign her."
Okay, there is only one due date on the transportation information. it says to turn in my form by July 1st and I will receive a letter in August notifying me of the AM/PM decision and where the bus stop is. apparently, for kids on the borders they may switch them around after they have a total headcount. There is no talk of principal interaction here.
"So when I was told to 'just turn in my form' that really meant that I also had to petition the principal of the elementary school?"
Okay I didn't say that. What I said was, "Well, do you have the number where I can reach the principal to take care of this?"
"Well, obviously school is out."
No shit!
"Sometimes he goes in during the summer, so you can just call there in the mornings and try to catch him."
Okay, I'll just spend the rest of my summer hoping I will randomly catch the principal at the elementary school.
I mean, am I wrong to think there should be a more appropriate solution? And why do I have to do the leg work here? So on my next Wednesday off (because I had planned a zoo trip that was not about to be cancelled due to imbecile negligence) I will be harassing the Board of Education until they give me a way to contact this elusive principal.
And the worst part is, he's going to immediately think that I am going to be one of those pain in the ass parents, when IT WAS NOT MY FAULT!
I turned in my form.
Yesterday, I got a call from the Transportation Department.
"Mrs. Norcross, we seem to have a problem with your form. See, Morgan is a PM student, but your daycare provider is in the AM zone. I won't be able to pick her up."
Excuse me?
"My buses don't go over there at mid-day. We'll be able to take her there after school, because the buses run everywhere in the afternoon, but not midday."
Again, excuse me? This is their way of taking care of it? Not providing transportation to my child? And P.S. Bay Village is 5 miles long by 1 mile wide at the widest point, how much of an inconvenience could it possibly be to run the bus over there?
"Well, when I asked this specific question at information night, I was told that all I needed to do was fill out the form and there would either be an arrangement to pick her up, or she would be placed with the AM students."
"I can't do that. She's been assigned to PM by the principal. You would have to ask him to re-assign her."
Okay, there is only one due date on the transportation information. it says to turn in my form by July 1st and I will receive a letter in August notifying me of the AM/PM decision and where the bus stop is. apparently, for kids on the borders they may switch them around after they have a total headcount. There is no talk of principal interaction here.
"So when I was told to 'just turn in my form' that really meant that I also had to petition the principal of the elementary school?"
Okay I didn't say that. What I said was, "Well, do you have the number where I can reach the principal to take care of this?"
"Well, obviously school is out."
No shit!
"Sometimes he goes in during the summer, so you can just call there in the mornings and try to catch him."
Okay, I'll just spend the rest of my summer hoping I will randomly catch the principal at the elementary school.
I mean, am I wrong to think there should be a more appropriate solution? And why do I have to do the leg work here? So on my next Wednesday off (because I had planned a zoo trip that was not about to be cancelled due to imbecile negligence) I will be harassing the Board of Education until they give me a way to contact this elusive principal.
And the worst part is, he's going to immediately think that I am going to be one of those pain in the ass parents, when IT WAS NOT MY FAULT!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Road to Kindergarten - Episode 2
Morgan graduated from preschool last night, during which she won the prestigious "perfect attendance" award with one other little girl. Gift certificate to a local ice cream shop. She couldn't have been more proud.
Nana Turtle pointed out that has a lot to do with her thin medical file! Score another one for me.
Papa Turtle looked to the future and saw multiple college scholarships coming her way. I'm all for that. Although first we have to get past that pesky letter and number recognition. I'm fairly confident.
She also shushed a fellow classmate as they were arranging themselves to sing a song, so I foresee tackling the "Teacher's Pet" conundrum. Ugh!
They all wore handmade mortar boards, and I noted that there was a shocking lack of quality control in the assembly, as Morgan's was way too big for her head and kept falling off. She blamed Rory for knocking it, but kept replacing it with determination and a little help from another Butterfly named Ava, who is the spitting image of a young Lindsey Lohan if you remember The Parent Trap re-make.
I can't believe the school year went by so quickly and we are on to summer "vacation" which will include Safety Town, more swim lessons, an attempt at ballet lessons, Daisy Scouts and all the other things that make the word "vacation" inappropriate.
P.S. Happy birthday to our dear little Zoe, who turned 2 today. In typical 2nd child fashion, she got two candles in a Little Debbie snack cake. Relax, her real party is this weekend. I'm a little worried what the "terrible twos" have in store for us.
Nana Turtle pointed out that has a lot to do with her thin medical file! Score another one for me.
Papa Turtle looked to the future and saw multiple college scholarships coming her way. I'm all for that. Although first we have to get past that pesky letter and number recognition. I'm fairly confident.
She also shushed a fellow classmate as they were arranging themselves to sing a song, so I foresee tackling the "Teacher's Pet" conundrum. Ugh!
They all wore handmade mortar boards, and I noted that there was a shocking lack of quality control in the assembly, as Morgan's was way too big for her head and kept falling off. She blamed Rory for knocking it, but kept replacing it with determination and a little help from another Butterfly named Ava, who is the spitting image of a young Lindsey Lohan if you remember The Parent Trap re-make.
I can't believe the school year went by so quickly and we are on to summer "vacation" which will include Safety Town, more swim lessons, an attempt at ballet lessons, Daisy Scouts and all the other things that make the word "vacation" inappropriate.
P.S. Happy birthday to our dear little Zoe, who turned 2 today. In typical 2nd child fashion, she got two candles in a Little Debbie snack cake. Relax, her real party is this weekend. I'm a little worried what the "terrible twos" have in store for us.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Journey to Kindergarten - Chapter 1
Point 1
Today I got to go to Cleveland City Hall. Because apparently you need to have a "certified" birth certificate (redundant?) to register your child for kindergarten, and apparently hospitals don't send those to you automatically when your kids are born, and apparently you have to pay for them.
City Hall is one of Cleveland's historic buildings in the classic Greek/Roman style with columns and marble and sandstone, etc. So the metal detector and plywood security "desk" fit right along with the architectural aesthetic. (Don't get me wrong. I'm pro-metal detectors. I certainly don't want to be gunned down while waiting to write my check to the "Vital Statistics" department.)
Worse than the metal detectors are the 246 pieces of paper taped to walls, ropes, windows, chairs and ceilings. All imploring the citizens to fill out an application at one table and then stand between the ropes until the next employee is available. The paper is in various colors to make it interesting, or perhaps to help those with color blindness. One can only guess the number of people that still walk up to the window without a completed application.
Other signage reminds us that they very conveniently take debit and charge cards, but neither of these can be Visa.
Box of Crayons - $2
Backpack - $15
First Day of School Outfit - $25
Having Valid Paperwork for Kindergarten Registration - Priceless
And for those of you that didn't know, there are only two "vital statistics". Your birth and your death. And you will most likely never stand in line for your own "certified" certificate of either of these things.
Point 2
Upon returning, I got to talking with a co-worker about all the paperwork involved in this process and we started reminiscing about our own school transportation history.
K - I have absolutely no idea how I got to school!
1-2 - Walker. Set off with other members of St. Paul Lutheran Church (Reinharts, Stiwalds, and Bolkens). In order to not have to wait in the "walker" line, that wasn't released until all the buses were gone, Lara and I would sneak out the breezeway as the class made their way to the front of the school. Sometimes having to crouch below windows until we could bolt across the playground in the hopes that we wouldn't be spotted.
3-6 - Have moved to "the country" and our bus driver was Mrs Bursley. As her name implies, she was the meanest old biddy you could possibly imagine. If we weren't at the very end of our quarter mile driveway, she flew past us. Even if you knew she saw you running as fast as you could across gravel wearing a back pack, flailing your arms and screaming for her to stop.
7-8 - I have absolutely no idea how I got to school!
9 - Older brother in the POS "Goose" to school. In the afternoon, because my brother was a jock and always had practice for something, I took the bus. For all of high school I had Mrs. Bonnette. Who if I didn't make special care to say hello to as I boarded, she forgot I was there, and I would end up running down the aisle, "Mrs. Boonnneetttee!" In contrast to Mrs. Bursley, Mrs Bonnette would slam on the brakes and back the bus up the state route to my driveway. She was awesome and had the best laugh.
10 - I had the choice of dad dropping me off super early on his way to work or ride the bus. I chose early, and hung out with Justin Solomon (science teacher's son) until the rest of the school got there and I could pretend I didn't know him. (Just kidding, he was okay.)
11-12 - Gerri got her Mustang convertible that actually had a running mustang airbrushed across the front hood. Classic! Gerri turned 16 in April, but waited until the summer to take Driver's Ed with me, cause she's awesome (Or maybe her parents just didn't let her until then, I don't know.) We were in the same car with Nina Nunez and she was a way worse driver than me, but the instructor only made me cry. I'm pretty sure Gerri's the only one that got her own car out of the deal, but I was allowed the pleasure of driving the used beige Tempo to school my senior year.
I think riding the bus will be hard on Morgan at first. She notices instantly if, say, I go a different way to school, because I'm so zoned out I miss the turn on Bradley. And she's been known to argue with the driver of a vehicle that does not take the path she is expecting. "You're going the wrong way!" I can picture her very plainly, yelling at the bus driver.
Today I got to go to Cleveland City Hall. Because apparently you need to have a "certified" birth certificate (redundant?) to register your child for kindergarten, and apparently hospitals don't send those to you automatically when your kids are born, and apparently you have to pay for them.
City Hall is one of Cleveland's historic buildings in the classic Greek/Roman style with columns and marble and sandstone, etc. So the metal detector and plywood security "desk" fit right along with the architectural aesthetic. (Don't get me wrong. I'm pro-metal detectors. I certainly don't want to be gunned down while waiting to write my check to the "Vital Statistics" department.)
Worse than the metal detectors are the 246 pieces of paper taped to walls, ropes, windows, chairs and ceilings. All imploring the citizens to fill out an application at one table and then stand between the ropes until the next employee is available. The paper is in various colors to make it interesting, or perhaps to help those with color blindness. One can only guess the number of people that still walk up to the window without a completed application.
Other signage reminds us that they very conveniently take debit and charge cards, but neither of these can be Visa.
Box of Crayons - $2
Backpack - $15
First Day of School Outfit - $25
Having Valid Paperwork for Kindergarten Registration - Priceless
And for those of you that didn't know, there are only two "vital statistics". Your birth and your death. And you will most likely never stand in line for your own "certified" certificate of either of these things.
Point 2
Upon returning, I got to talking with a co-worker about all the paperwork involved in this process and we started reminiscing about our own school transportation history.
K - I have absolutely no idea how I got to school!
1-2 - Walker. Set off with other members of St. Paul Lutheran Church (Reinharts, Stiwalds, and Bolkens). In order to not have to wait in the "walker" line, that wasn't released until all the buses were gone, Lara and I would sneak out the breezeway as the class made their way to the front of the school. Sometimes having to crouch below windows until we could bolt across the playground in the hopes that we wouldn't be spotted.
3-6 - Have moved to "the country" and our bus driver was Mrs Bursley. As her name implies, she was the meanest old biddy you could possibly imagine. If we weren't at the very end of our quarter mile driveway, she flew past us. Even if you knew she saw you running as fast as you could across gravel wearing a back pack, flailing your arms and screaming for her to stop.
7-8 - I have absolutely no idea how I got to school!
9 - Older brother in the POS "Goose" to school. In the afternoon, because my brother was a jock and always had practice for something, I took the bus. For all of high school I had Mrs. Bonnette. Who if I didn't make special care to say hello to as I boarded, she forgot I was there, and I would end up running down the aisle, "Mrs. Boonnneetttee!" In contrast to Mrs. Bursley, Mrs Bonnette would slam on the brakes and back the bus up the state route to my driveway. She was awesome and had the best laugh.
10 - I had the choice of dad dropping me off super early on his way to work or ride the bus. I chose early, and hung out with Justin Solomon (science teacher's son) until the rest of the school got there and I could pretend I didn't know him. (Just kidding, he was okay.)
11-12 - Gerri got her Mustang convertible that actually had a running mustang airbrushed across the front hood. Classic! Gerri turned 16 in April, but waited until the summer to take Driver's Ed with me, cause she's awesome (Or maybe her parents just didn't let her until then, I don't know.) We were in the same car with Nina Nunez and she was a way worse driver than me, but the instructor only made me cry. I'm pretty sure Gerri's the only one that got her own car out of the deal, but I was allowed the pleasure of driving the used beige Tempo to school my senior year.
I think riding the bus will be hard on Morgan at first. She notices instantly if, say, I go a different way to school, because I'm so zoned out I miss the turn on Bradley. And she's been known to argue with the driver of a vehicle that does not take the path she is expecting. "You're going the wrong way!" I can picture her very plainly, yelling at the bus driver.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Kindergarten Information Night
Morgan will soon bless the public school system with her presence. To that end, we received a flyer stating that all parents should attend this Kindergarten Information Night, which should have been called Pick Up Your Information Packet Night, because really it was a 10 minute speech by the principal and then we were left to our own devices.
And said packet has more forms than it takes to incorporate your home business or adopt a third-world child.
There were little tables set up where you could ask specific questions. I had two, one of which I'm sure I could have looked up if I wasn't so lazy.
Question 1: If we live in zone A, this means she will be a PM student. If we live in between streets X&Y, she will be a "walker". But our daycare provider lives in zone C, which would make her an AM student and need to ride the bus. When Bus Delta and Walkers Charlie and Easy start out from Gamma Quadrant, what the hell do I do?
Answer: Fill out the form and they'll get back to you.
Question 2: What is the difference between a Daisy Scout and a Brownie?
Answer: Daisy Scouts are K and 1st grade. Brownie's are 2nd and 4th.
Learn something new every day. In my day, there were only Brownies and I went to one Brownie meeting. After finding out I would be forced to recite the pledge aloud, by myself, I decided the brown beanie and sash weren't as cute as previously suggested.
The rest of the time we got to spend walking around the Kindergarten rooms. Which, shockingly, pretty much look identical. And it's not like I could actually pick which room she would be in anyway.
Scott was busy checking off which parents were already ass-kissing the teachers to make sure Morgan doesn't make friends with their kids.
My best Kindergarten memories.
1. Anytime we got to watch a Letter People episode.
Come and meet the Letter People.
Come and meet the family.
Words are made with Letter People.
A, B, C, D...Follow me.
My favorites were Mr. Tall Teeth and Mr. Super Socks. I was annoyed that Miss Achoo sneezed all the time, so wasn't as cute. Really? Achoo? That's not even a word!
2. Show and Tell when I got to bring in my grandma's litter of puppies. Jake, Thelma Lou, and Mabel.
3. My mom and grandma came and did a puppet show for the class. At least I think they did. Maybe I'm making that up. I can't really remember what the puppet show was about. Or what the puppets look like. Weird. Brain...turning...to...mush.
And said packet has more forms than it takes to incorporate your home business or adopt a third-world child.
There were little tables set up where you could ask specific questions. I had two, one of which I'm sure I could have looked up if I wasn't so lazy.
Question 1: If we live in zone A, this means she will be a PM student. If we live in between streets X&Y, she will be a "walker". But our daycare provider lives in zone C, which would make her an AM student and need to ride the bus. When Bus Delta and Walkers Charlie and Easy start out from Gamma Quadrant, what the hell do I do?
Answer: Fill out the form and they'll get back to you.
Question 2: What is the difference between a Daisy Scout and a Brownie?
Answer: Daisy Scouts are K and 1st grade. Brownie's are 2nd and 4th.
Learn something new every day. In my day, there were only Brownies and I went to one Brownie meeting. After finding out I would be forced to recite the pledge aloud, by myself, I decided the brown beanie and sash weren't as cute as previously suggested.
The rest of the time we got to spend walking around the Kindergarten rooms. Which, shockingly, pretty much look identical. And it's not like I could actually pick which room she would be in anyway.
Scott was busy checking off which parents were already ass-kissing the teachers to make sure Morgan doesn't make friends with their kids.
My best Kindergarten memories.
1. Anytime we got to watch a Letter People episode.
Come and meet the Letter People.
Come and meet the family.
Words are made with Letter People.
A, B, C, D...Follow me.
My favorites were Mr. Tall Teeth and Mr. Super Socks. I was annoyed that Miss Achoo sneezed all the time, so wasn't as cute. Really? Achoo? That's not even a word!
2. Show and Tell when I got to bring in my grandma's litter of puppies. Jake, Thelma Lou, and Mabel.
3. My mom and grandma came and did a puppet show for the class. At least I think they did. Maybe I'm making that up. I can't really remember what the puppet show was about. Or what the puppets look like. Weird. Brain...turning...to...mush.
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