Saturday, January 22, 2011

No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed

Speaking of bunk beds...okay, so I was speaking of them in my head because I was again going through the really fun process of changing the sheets on them...I'm reminded of my excellent bunk bed story from college.

I'm pretty sure this is exactly how it happened.

FACT: I had a "job" at the stables to reduce the Equestrian Team fees I (read: my parents) had to pay.
FACT: Said job had to be completed prior to 7:45 am when students showed up for their 8:00 am lessons.
FACT: I had no car and it was a LONG walk to the stables, so Susan and Asuka picked me up at 5:45 am every weekday morning.
FACT: It's cold at 5:45 am.

SITUATION: Thursday night (must have been at a party, because there is no way I could have been this drunk from underage consumption at a bar) I mysteriously make it into my top bunk.


In the wee hours of the morning, suddenly awake and realize the alarm has been missed. Creep quietly from the top bunk so as not to awaken anyone else...or maybe jump/fall off the side, perhaps kicking Joni in the head.

Proceed to put on sweats over whatever outfit I went to bed in. After all, it is cold outside. As a matter of fact, it is really cold. Probably need more than sweats, so what else should I put on quickly....hmmm...ah, perfect solution, the sheet from my bed.

Ever so quietly, with lightening speed, remove the sheet...or maybe pull and tug so hard that the sheet AND the mattress fall down on top of me.

Wrestle the sheet off the downed mattress and wrap in toga style around my body. There may or may not have been an ignored roommate intervention at this point.

Trip over the mattress on the floor, race down the three flights of stairs, and run as fast as my toga can carry me to the parking lot.

Silence. No sign of movement anywhere. They must have gotten tired of waiting and now I will have to walk the mile and a half. I'm obviously dressed inappropriately for this and head back up to the room for more suitable gear.

Trip over my mattress and finally hear Allison's voice through the fog telling me..."It's only 3:30, go back to bed."

Climb up and realize mattress is still on the ground, hence the tripping.

Climb down and stare at mattress to decide how to get it back up.

Give up and collapse onto the mattress.

One hour later, suddenly awake and realize the alarm has been you see a pattern?

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