Something Wicked This Way Comes

Got the preschool newsletter today with a reminder about the Halloween costume party coming up. "The church requests us not to have any witches, ghosts, or devil costumes." Hmmm...my first thought, "She is so going as a witch." But then I realize I can be an adult, even when it kills me. But let's think about this.

What does it matter what a pre-schooler dresses up as on Halloween? Whatever they are dressed as on that day, they will be wishing it is something else. Currently, I'm in search of a fairy costume, but last week I thought I was going to be creating a beluga whale costume from scratch. Chances are, the day of the party, she is going to be really ticked that she has to wear whatever costume she last settled on.

And I find their list shockingly vague.

A devil. So are we talking biblical Satan, or any demonic looking creature will do? Does this rule out Hades, and then by default Persephone? I mean she does allegedly head things up down there for six months out of the year. What if my son wanted to tote around a three-headed dog, while wearing his helm of invisibility and make kids give him quarters to get across the River Styx? Would this be frowned upon?

Don't get me started on witches. What a stereo-type. Hel-lo...has no one watched the Wizard of Oz in that church? There are good witches and bad witches! If Morgan wants to go as Glinda or Hermione Granger, do I have to say no? And I'm guessing witches are on the book-burning list because they are considered devil-worshipers, which is just plain racist. I'm pretty sure the White Witch of Narnia was in it for herself. (Then again, she would fall in the "devil" category above, if we were speaking metaphorically, so maybe not the best example.)

Ghosts...I don't get at all. This one completely baffles me. Is it strictly because "there's no such thing as ghosts?" Because there's no such thing as a Power Ranger and I could swing a stick and hit one at any time on Trick or Treat night. I'm assuming its not because "they are scary" or they would have just said, "Keep it fun, not scary." I can appreciate that, at this age. That's reasonable. I think our PTA party does that. Is it because it reeks of Pagan ritual, which is why we celebrate Halloween in the first place...because maybe they should have just said "You can't have a Halloween party in our church."

And poor Casper...I think my older brother donned that drug store costume in his youth. Plastic mask with the thin elastic band to hold it in place and the flimsy plastic shirt and pants, shaped like scrubs that fit over your regular clothes.

If you're going to make a list of allegedly poor role models, maybe you should include:
1. Psychopathic Killers ("They look just like everyone else." - The Adams Family)
2. Hannah Montana (The pictures with Billy Ray...come on, that's just weird.)
3. Football players, Basketball players, Baseball players (Guns, drugs, animal cruelty, drunk driving, gangs, murder)
4. Ming Ming from the Wonder Pets (That speech impediment! It Kills Me.)

As for me...I'm pretty sure Pre School was the year of Little Bo Peep. But I'm also pretty sure that the year before that my mom dressed me up as Mae West, complete with fake cleavage and show girl makeup. And I am all the better for it.