That's Morgan. Unfortunately, my brain is such a ball of mush, most of her anecdotes end up in the cosmic void. But every once in a while, if I have a scrap piece of paper to write a trigger word or two down, I can dig deep and share a moment of entertainment with you.
Here's a couple of those moments.
We were passing Papa's office in the car today, and amid the endless questioning of what exact day six months from now her next teeth cleaning will be, she states that fact that Thea (daycare provider) "goes to my dentist, too."
"That's right," I say. "That's why she takes care of you. Aren't we lucky? If she didn't go to see Papa, we wouldn't know who she was."
And here is the staggering genius part..."We would if she would just wear a dog collar." Everything is so blatantly obvious to a four-year-old. Of course that is how we would know who she is.
In unrelated news, later that evening she was playing with some dolls on the couch while I flipped through a catalog. I catch a few words that spark my interest and learn that her Disney princesses are deciding which one of them is going to die next.
"Hey, don't you think you could pretend that something nice is happening."
"I guess." She silently mulls this over for a while and then questions me, "Is hot lava something nice?"
"Ummm...maybe try again." Hot lava? Really? Maybe too many episodes of Thundar the Barbarian during dinner.
She's also having trouble coming to terms with the movie Twilight. But who can blame her? Everyone knows that vampires can't be out in the daytime unless they have a special ring. Like any good mom, I tell her the truth. There are different kinds of vampires, just like there are different kinds of people.
"Oh, like Uncle John."
Her night-shift uncle is her example of a vampire. When going to pick something up at the house during the day, I informed her she had to be quiet, because he was sleeping.
"Why is he sleeping in the daytime?"
"Because he is a vampire."
She took it well, and this fact has gone undisputed.
In case you're wondering where Zoe is in all of this, she is doing one of three things:
1. Hitting something
2. Screaming "MaMa!"
3. Trying to make her baby "poop!" on the potty.
WTF, me. #solareclipse2017
11 hours ago