Sunday, November 1, 2009

All Saints Day

Some of the lessor known Saints:

Saints Mars, Hershey and Nestle - Patron Saints of Trick-or-Treaters, plastic jack-o-lanterns, and Weight Watchers. They make sure you never miss a house giving away the full-sized candy bars. And they lay their vengeance upon homes that only hand out one Dum-Dum sucker.

Saints Sarbanes and Oxley - Patron Saints of Accountants and Internal Control Consultants such as myself. They watch over us and whenever we think we don't have enough mundane work to keep us busy they whisper in the ears of the PCAOB or the SEC and a new auditing standard or accounting principle is born. In other words, why I still have a job and will be working at least 8 more hours today.

Saint Boomerang - Patron Saint of Parents that are sick of watching "educational" cartoons with their kids. Saint Boomerang invented a whole channel to combat "preschool on TV." He refilled our days with The Jetsons and Top Cat and my personal favorite Wacky Races. Shows that don't require us talk back to them in another language or get up and dance unless we feel like it.

Saint Autumn - Patron Saint of leaf blower manufacturers. This Saint has the ability to send gale force winds right after your very last leaf has been blown to the curb, but also is kind enough to give the gift of leaf piles the size of Mount Crumpet for the kids to jump in - even if they end up dragging half of them into the house stuck in their pants.


  1. Hey! Don't knock the dead leaves! They are great fun to play in...even though I do agree with you on the mess that they bring into the house! But they are better than the wet, slimey ones that stick to you! Never mind, soon it will be SNOW, and wet and cold, (sigh) I'm a Summer person!!! I was just born in the wrong place!
    Why don't people just hibernate? Wake me up about March!

  2. Tina dying laughing here.... I too still have a job due to Saint Sarbanes Ox... or SOX, as we refer to him here.. as in SMELLY, or something that you only want to touch with your foot.

    Your stories make my day- keep em up!