Some of the lessor known Saints:
Saints Mars, Hershey and Nestle - Patron Saints of Trick-or-Treaters, plastic jack-o-lanterns, and Weight Watchers. They make sure you never miss a house giving away the full-sized candy bars. And they lay their vengeance upon homes that only hand out one Dum-Dum sucker.
Saints Sarbanes and Oxley - Patron Saints of Accountants and Internal Control Consultants such as myself. They watch over us and whenever we think we don't have enough mundane work to keep us busy they whisper in the ears of the PCAOB or the SEC and a new auditing standard or accounting principle is born. In other words, why I still have a job and will be working at least 8 more hours today.
Saint Boomerang - Patron Saint of Parents that are sick of watching "educational" cartoons with their kids. Saint Boomerang invented a whole channel to combat "preschool on TV." He refilled our days with The Jetsons and Top Cat and my personal favorite Wacky Races. Shows that don't require us talk back to them in another language or get up and dance unless we feel like it.
Saint Autumn - Patron Saint of leaf blower manufacturers. This Saint has the ability to send gale force winds right after your very last leaf has been blown to the curb, but also is kind enough to give the gift of leaf piles the size of Mount Crumpet for the kids to jump in - even if they end up dragging half of them into the house stuck in their pants.
Even crazier than normal.
1 day ago