So for those of you that tend to tune me out and therefore are unaware of the fact that I have obsessions other than The Hunger Games, I am campaigning to bring back MTV’s Rock N Jock softball game.
This new quest is a direct result of two things. My deep desire to find a cause I could absolutely stand behind one hundred percent…and three or more Kirschner Vodka Tumblers consumed while reliving the years 1989 – 1992 with D&G. (FYI - not Dolce & Gabana)
When I first announced this quest on facebook, November 8, 2011 (a day that will henceforth live in infamy), I had little to go on other than a vague inclination that it had been spoken of in a drunken stupor in September.
After I did a little more research…I still had little to go on. Because – apparently - there is next to no video footage available. The only articles I was able to find were outraged protests at the lack of video footage available. The best source I found was a blog written not more than two weeks prior to my facebook post on this very same subject. That’s a SIGN, people!
A sign that the time has come. I’m not satisfied with just getting my hands on the video replays. I want an honest to goodness softball game. And I want Bill Bellamy and Dan Cortese to coach. And I want Chris Connelly to give play-by-play. (Oh geez, I probably should have made sure these people aren’t dead yet.)
And you can bet your ass that I want the Jonas Brothers to take the outfield. (Yes, the point is that they are not quite relevant any more – remember the Nelson twins?) And I want Ty Burrell from Modern Family, because that would be some seriously funny shit. And that guy that plays Castle, because he shows up every where.
The real trick is definitely going to be finding some non-douchebag athletes. We may have to resort to women’s soccer and the WWE. I mean, we can always count on the snow boarders and BMX crew if we have to.
I have one rule.
There will be zero, nada, zilch, absolutely NO reality show anti-celebrities allowed on the field. Unless it is to get extra points or automatic home runs for beaning them in the head.
You guys think I’m joking. I will let you know when I have my all-star roster in place. And I will most certainly let you know when MTV calls me to produce the whole damn thing.
Feel free to sign your name in the comments if you agree with my campaign.