Saturday, April 10, 2010

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

The definition of stupidity is repeating the same action over and over while expecting different results.

The definition of extreme stupidity is trying to spring clean your toddler's room while they're in it and expect them to NOT topple neatly stacked books, empty the basket of toys and remove every article of clothing from the drawers.

I begged. I threatened. Why did I not just stop? What harm could have come from waiting until Scott returned from his 18 mile run? (I'm pretty sure he took up training so he had less chance of hearing me say "Zoe, No.")

But I did it. First, it was the basket of stuffed animals that I had Morgan go through. "Can we give any of these toys away?" Unlike in her own room, where the 23 pooh-bears, and 14 penguins still take up valuable real estate, she became ruthless. The only things that remained were other various members of the Hundred Acre Wood and The Learning Puppy.

Sidebar: We have received no less the four Learning Puppies in the course of our parenthood, and damn if that thing isn't still the most annoying toy ever. No offense to the thoughtful gift bearers. Or barers. I have no idea.

No sooner had I moved to the play kitchen did I turn to find Pooh's buddies strewn across the floor. And may I mention that Zoe had never once played with those things before.

Once I get the pots, pans and spoons in their clever storage bin, I move to the four villages of Little People (Fisher Price, not TLC), only to find the devil's spawn has felt the urge to prepare a seven course meal.

Line up the shoes and take the trash out of the room. Return to mix-matched pairs on "babies", in the "sink", and going "night, night" in the crib (carefully covered with a blanket so they don't get a chill.)

I thought about letting the vacuum run so I could get everything in one place (the only thing Beelzebub fears), but figured that might cost me in later-year therapy. In the end, the room is clean. Maybe not great-grandma Feef clean, but good enough for this mom.


  1. I am guessing using the terms "devil spawn" and "Beelzebub" are going to cost you in therapy too.

  2. She can come stay with Aunt Denise who has been called the same. : )

  3. I don't have two little girls to clean up after, but cleaning up after two little dogs is equally stupid.

    We have a plastic bin for their toys—chew bones, plushies, balls, squeakers—and as fast as I put them away, out they come again. Their "stuff," you see, doesn't belong in a bin. It belongs where human mom and dad trip over them, step on squeakers in the middle of the night, and step on chew bones in our bare feet—boy, does that HURT!

    Exercises in futility, Alice, when we could be doing something really important like napping or watching Oprah.

  4. (Tina) I think I was trying to clean our car at the same time you were cleaning her room. I was just trying to get it presentable enough for her babysitter to ride to a party with us in. But little Anna kept trying to "help" and I gave up after she clogged the vaccuum cleaner with some old sticky Dum Dums. We also had the bonus of going to said party at Pump It Up where Anna had a tantrum in the parking lot and was laying on the ground next to the car screaming and kicking her feet. Good thing they're used to that there.