Thursday, September 19, 2013

Hello...Is It Me You're Looking For?

Things That Have Pissed Me Off Since We Last Spoke:

Any extreme shift in weather.
Puppies destroying my gladiolas.
Getting up to go to work.
Being at work.
Talking about work at home.
Third grade math homework.
The existence of laundry.
Anything to do with the bobbin on my sewing machine.
DJ Madison on Sirius Alt Nation.

Things That Have Made Up For The Things That Piss Me Off:

All the awesome fall days we have had before the official start of fall.
Puppies wagging their tails so hard that their whole butts shake.
Leaving work.
Getting notification of an etsy sale.
...there is nothing that makes up for the existence of laundry.
Finishing a sewing project. Even if I may or may not have made a slightly important miscalculation.
DJ Archie AKA "The Black Mr. Rogers" on 87.7 in the morning.

I'm not kidding.  That is his name. You can look it up.  From a technical standpoint he is not that great a DJ, but he makes up for it in sheer randomness and moxy.  Whatever they pay Madison over at Sirius should be siphoned over to him because when she speaks I want to reach through the radio and pull out her vocal chords.  Maybe it's just me.

In other news...

I have become the official pace setter for the bus stop.  This is due to the scientific fact that the speed of walking for third grade girls is directly disproportional to the speed of their chatting.  I thought that after week one I could just let them walk by themselves, but I'm pretty sure if I don't walk with them halfway, they won't even make it to the end our block let alone the bus stop before transportation arrives.

In way other news...

I shop at Goodwill and I'll tell you why.  People throw away nice things.  But also, because it is my best bet for grabbing a flat sheet with big flowers on it made popular in the 70's that I can turn into a quilt or a shopping tote.  Yellow is my favorite.  And yes, I am aware that Goodwill is not a charity.  The CEO is raking in millions of dollars a year.  He's not hiding it, people.  Get over it.  Go to Salvation Army with your principles (or principals - it's my first day back, give me a break).

So yesterday I am at Goodwill in North Olmsted and I notice that one of the employees is helping another employee who happens to have special needs.  The older employee is being really sweet, making whatever their task was almost into a game and I think, Wow.  For all the grief this place gets, how great is it that they have given this person a place to go and a sense of accomplishment?  And how great is this other lady for being so patient even though it is probably making her task ten times longer than it usually is?

...And that is why I even noticed what they were actually doing which was just going through the racks of clothes and Employee 1 would ask Employee 2 what color the tag was.  Based on that color they would leave it or put it in a cart.

Then I noticed the "color of the week".  If a tag is Pink, you get that item for $1 instead of the price on the tag.  If the tag is Green, you get 50% off.  I realized that every time they came to a Pink one they were putting it in a cart to take it off the rack.  Seriously?!  My lack of faith in humanity is restored.  But I did manage to grab a Pink-tagged dress for my Halloween costume before it was whisked away. Booyah!


If anyone needs me I'll be busy perfecting my water bowl cover prototype made specifically for dogs with droopy ears.  That is the scientific term.  The following sketch is copywrited (copywrote?) and on file with the US Patent Office.  I turned down a million dollars from the Swiffer guy.


  1. I love lists like this because there are so many things in our daily lives that can anger, upset, or derail us but there are just as many things to make us smile. And I've been told that I complain too much, and that I'm never happy. Which is why I had to write this post a while back. It didn't do me any good though -- I never let my family read my blog, and my friends could not care less. Oh well.

    Those Goodwill bastards! If you're not going to sell anything for $1 then don't sell anything for $1. Don't be a dollar tease. Damn. Do you have a Savers by you? You might prefer that place.

    Enjoy the early days of fall, and keep those damn dogs out of your flower bed!

  2. You know what's funny, I shop at Goodwill a lot because I keep flip-flopping on my weight and I refuse to pay even $20 for a pair of jeans that may or may not fit me in a month. I go in sometimes on the tag Thursday and it always made me wonder why there are so many less tags of the color of the day. I wrote it off as early shoppers getting the goods first. Now I know better. How truly awful. Though the hiring of a special needs person is nice it still doesn't make up for duping the public.

    Love the water bowl idea!

  3. You did not turn down a million dollars! Did you? Doesn't matter; I'm just glad you're finally posting something new after that long dry period. And you were right to say "principles." Remember, the principal is your pal! (Unless you are caught smoking weed in the second-floor book room.)