Kindergarten Information Night

Morgan will soon bless the public school system with her presence. To that end, we received a flyer stating that all parents should attend this Kindergarten Information Night, which should have been called Pick Up Your Information Packet Night, because really it was a 10 minute speech by the principal and then we were left to our own devices.

And said packet has more forms than it takes to incorporate your home business or adopt a third-world child.

There were little tables set up where you could ask specific questions. I had two, one of which I'm sure I could have looked up if I wasn't so lazy.

Question 1: If we live in zone A, this means she will be a PM student. If we live in between streets X&Y, she will be a "walker". But our daycare provider lives in zone C, which would make her an AM student and need to ride the bus. When Bus Delta and Walkers Charlie and Easy start out from Gamma Quadrant, what the hell do I do?

Answer: Fill out the form and they'll get back to you.

Question 2: What is the difference between a Daisy Scout and a Brownie?

Answer: Daisy Scouts are K and 1st grade. Brownie's are 2nd and 4th.

Learn something new every day. In my day, there were only Brownies and I went to one Brownie meeting. After finding out I would be forced to recite the pledge aloud, by myself, I decided the brown beanie and sash weren't as cute as previously suggested.

The rest of the time we got to spend walking around the Kindergarten rooms. Which, shockingly, pretty much look identical. And it's not like I could actually pick which room she would be in anyway.

Scott was busy checking off which parents were already ass-kissing the teachers to make sure Morgan doesn't make friends with their kids.

My best Kindergarten memories.

1. Anytime we got to watch a Letter People episode.

Come and meet the Letter People.
Come and meet the family.
Words are made with Letter People.
A, B, C, D...Follow me.

My favorites were Mr. Tall Teeth and Mr. Super Socks. I was annoyed that Miss Achoo sneezed all the time, so wasn't as cute. Really? Achoo? That's not even a word!

2. Show and Tell when I got to bring in my grandma's litter of puppies. Jake, Thelma Lou, and Mabel.

3. My mom and grandma came and did a puppet show for the class. At least I think they did. Maybe I'm making that up. I can't really remember what the puppet show was about. Or what the puppets look like. Weird. Brain...turning...to...mush.