2010 Rant Number 1

There are two kinds of jeans. Casual jeans you wear to the store and library, that may or may not have stains on them due to their other purpose of working in the yard or cleaning your house. And their snootier cousin - stainless, shape-retaining, and preferably the same shade of blue from top to bottom. These should be worn to any restaurant fancier than Red Robin but not quite as fancy as a place with valet parking.

And do you know where neither of these types of jeans should be worn?

The Public Square Theater for a Saturday evening performance of "Chicago". Yeah, make that any theater for any evening performance (I'll cut slack on the matinees, but I still don't like it). I don't care if you are seeing Rent or Madam Butterfly. Jeans are not appropriate. Period. Who gave the okay for this? They did not consult me.

God love the volunteers that seat people in the dark - after the performance has started - but maybe the theater needs to start paying for bouncers that enforce a dress code.

How hard can it be to dress up for a nice evening out that includes taking in some fine arts?

Men - at the very least, borrow a pair of your neighbor's Dockers and a sweater.
Women - kindly put on a shoe that you haven't sweated to the oldies in.

And P.S. to ladies surrounding me. It is not okay to talk in your normal voice while people on stage are singing. There is a fancy thing called whispering, if what you have to say is so important it can't wait until intermission.

And P.S. to Tom Wopat. Do you ever think about jumping in and out of the General Lee's car window while you're singing "Razzle Dazzle"?